what to do when your ex wont leave you alone
Narcissists can be quite bothersome. If you're mired in a relationship with one, yous may experience you've ceased to be because you tin can barely excuse yourself to the restroom without passing a Beak in Congress. Not to mention that if your Narcissist is overt, you're forced to deal with tantrums that make a two-yr onetime seem similar a Zen principal.
Every day, readers around the globe find my site by searching "how to get a Narcissist to leave you lot alone". While I don't know each person'south unique circumstances, what I do know is how to get rid of a Narcissist. Below, I share 3 effective strategies in the hopes that you, besides, can become Narc-complimentary and regain your power to speak in complete sentences.
ane.No Contact
There's no way of getting around this ane. In well-nigh cases, the overt Narc won't exit y'all alone considering you've left lines of communication open. In this case, you'll need to be the 1 who blocks them because they probable will not block themselves, unless you've become an accented basket-example with no money, no resources, and no hint of emotion left. In curt, unless yous've go a Zombie. After all, even negative supply is better than none in the Narcissist's heed. They've been known to check in just to incite in their Discards a nuclear meltdown, only to hang upwards feeling refreshed and invigorated. Why leave yourself open for that?
Even if they've found new supply, they commonly cannot resist knowing that they still accept power over you. So, while y'all're sitting around with a white-knuckle grip on your phone, waiting for them to ship yous a text (with three weeks having passed since the terminal one), they might SMS you with "Hey" just to see what your reaction will be. That doesn't hateful they've been looking at engagement rings or anything, information technology but means their new supply is at piece of work and can't talk on the telephone, only the Narc needs to feed their ego a little snack.
Starving their ego will forcefulness them to find another source of supply. You lot can exercise that by going No Contact.
2. Show no emotion
Narcs are persistent footling critters. Sometimes, fifty-fifty when faced with No Contact, they don't believe you mean it so they may feel inclined to "calm your anxieties" by showing up at your favorite coffee shop, even though information technology's 25 miles out of their manner. In this instance, you lot'll need to reward their efforts by pretending y'all don't meet them. This may trigger them to come over (uninvited) to your table. Even then, they're non there !
They're counting on the reward of being in a public identify…where they believe y'all'll have no selection but to acknowledge their existence. When they initiate a conversation, assume the stance of ane of the neighboring chairs, remaining completely indifferent to the Narc's presence.
If they still don't have the hint, pick upwards your java, exit the java shop, and proceed to get in your vehicle and bulldoze away. Kind of like i of the characters in The 7th Sense who can't encounter dead people. The Narc will begin to wonder if he imagined the whole interaction, which equals instant karma for all their gaslighting attempts. *fist crash-land*
This may feel uncomfortable for Empathic people, or those who dislike conflict, just it's important to remember the reason you're being forced to behave this way.
3. Pretend you've developed Tourette's Syndrome
This is especially effective if yous've been submissive and serenity during the relationship. If you detect yourself forced to engage in conversation with the Narcissist, throw in a few unexpected obscenities, at higher levels of book than the rest of your response. Information technology might wait something like this:
"I have a few pieces of #@*%# mail service for y'all. Should I accept your mail forwarded, or should I #@*%# or #@*%# ? (This should be washed without changing your facial expression).
If the starting time two steps don't transport the Narcissist packing, this concluding one surely will. Giving them the impression that you lot no longer have control over your spoken language should put to residue any remaining agendas they may have for arraign-shifting and gaslighting. They won't realize you've simply adopted one of their behaviors.
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Source: https://kimsaeed.com/2014/05/29/3-ways-to-get-a-narcissist-to-leave-you-alone/
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